Building Healthier Relationships (BHR) is a wholistic integrated living systems approach to improve the dynamics of our personal and social environments. It also looks at the effects of our ecological and technological environments as stressors and/or stress management resources.

This program covers:

Personal Growth and Development

This starts with ME taking 100% of the responsibility for my future. While I am not responsible for what happened to me from society or nature in the past, I am the only one that can be responsible for what I am going to do about it. Taking charge of my future marks the transition from victim to survivor. Since prevention is always the best self-defense strategy, taking charge of my personal growth and development is the first step to building “personal power.”

Personal Tools

  • Who am I, and how am I put together?
  • Identifying the sources of stress and resources for stress management 
  • Managing emotions, including anger management techniques (8 hours)
  • Identifying needs, and healthy ways to meet them
  • Emotional Intelligence 
  • Personal goal setting and achieving goals for the relationship 
  • Handling loss and grief
  • Healing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and building on Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs)

Social Growth and Development:

While we do need to give ourselves opportunities to grow personally, we also need to develop skills about how to relate to others.   Some of the tools that are missing for many people include:

Social Tools

  • Getting along with others
  • Communication styles
  • Active listening and listening blocks 
  • Boundary setting and assertiveness training
  • Conflict resolution, negotiation and problem-solving
  • Avoiding behaviors that damage relationships

This knowledge is then applied to the most important relationships we could have:

  • Marriage and Intimate Relationships
  • Parenting and co-parenting (before or after separation)

The intimacy of Marriage/Intimate Relationships and Parenting are where we can get the most pleasure and the most pain. Yet we get little if any education in either domain. Neither is given much, if any, focus in our educational system. It would be great if parents could teach healthy relationship skills to their children, but the parents cannot do any better than what they were taught themselves. What has been learned and passed down for generations has been so normalized that it is, well, “normal.” That does not mean it is healthy.

Turning the Bullshit of Life into a Fertilizer:

Life may throw droughts and floods (traumas) at us. Turning the Bullshit of Life into a Fertilizer is about healing from life’s ordeals. Learning the master gardening skills of building healthier relationships includes a process of daily maintenance and repairs–planting the right crops for the environment, then fertilizing, watering, and pulling the noxious weeds. Without such stewardship, we end up with a weed patch instead of a healthy, fruitful garden. This applies to our personal relationships as well as our gardens.

How healthy and functional are many of the beliefs and habits being passed on from generation to generation? Have we been conned by the materialism of capitalism for profit, power and control into ignoring the quality of our family life and other relationships? How many of us give our children “things” instead of time, shared knowledge, and affection? Do we rely on material objects to fulfill our need for connection? How hollow! It is no wonder that addictions, domestic and social violence, and suicide are at epidemic levels.

Taking Charge:

We offer a modular approach to building Master Gardening skills. Each of the topics above can be learned and practiced separately, or several can be pre-paid for a reduced price. We offer individualized teaching, webinars with Q&A, and small group options, depending upon your preferred learning style. For more information, contact us or sign up for the topics you want from the Seminars or Groups tabs.